Obsession leads you to your DOOM

Obsession leads you to your DOOM

Porin

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MEMOIRS for VITIBIAN's shit...

[May. 24th, 2007]03:29 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	chair	]
[	Current Music	\|	SAOSIN - You're Not Alone	]

1st entry

Since my account's making it's progress step by step, and it's owner yours truly is, well getting colder and bitchier... I'm quite sure this account will turn out completely different from the other two I use to update.

Let's not get to the point why...

[[MEMOIRS]]

- My first journal entry and I'm sure it's the first crap others will ever see in this account...

Still insecure about this certain THING that bugs me every second, and I need to find a way on how to forget all that happened, which I may say is "EXCLUSIVE", or if it's the correct term for that, but looks like it.

Just, screw that certain someone, kay?

I'm still inlove with this "GUY I've met for a long time, but just completely noticed him right now or the last month or so. This happened during the twisted times of obsession for Gerard, and that time I saw him again, I was like "OMFG!!!" my dreamboy! I go like that whenever he passes by. Still not in the obsess mode, but about to. Just wish me luck.

New something something on me... and you can see it all through my change of art... my REAL style of art. And there you go...

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

- - -

2nd entry

I'm less angry to the world now [[and it seems I'm the only one who doesn't talk about "300" in my journal..]], good for me. Like anyone cares anyway, they don't even know I'm mad... screw that...

Anyways, it's just now I've decided to finally do something with my life, and spend my time this summer for an intern. That's right, I'll be going on a workshop with "Kuya Gino," [did I spelled that right?] he's a commercial model, a dancer, and most importantly, a graphic artist. I don't even know why Kleya told me he's good looking... T_T schala!

So all I need to do is send him a request letter, asking him if I could be his student this summer. I just hope my mom approves, but I know she will. After all, he lives here in Makati, so there'll be no problems concerning the meeting places. I just really need to do this.

It calls me...

Again, one more thing I want to do with my life is to lengthen my hair, just a little, then dye it... and I'm not a try noob, so what if I want to dye it. I even want to get a tattoo. ADIK...

So, yeah. I still hate the man. *hugs and daggers* to you.

[[MEMOIRS]]

- Just went to a gig yesterday, and ahaha, so many emo dudes walking around with their hairs on one side... Damn, they all look like Davey HavoK...

Anyway, we're late that night so their band was forced to play last, and they did, and they were awesome, which is my opinion. then I stole one CD from them and their drummer, Kuya Weng, gave me his bent and broken drum sticks! Yay!

Then I got my first taste of Red Horse Beer, and it's half ass. And everyone's been smoking all around me, so it's obvious I smell like crap after the show. It's amazing.

I can't wait to go on to another gig, get drunk and have fun! I'm starting to be Gerard now! Alcoholic teen! Yay!

God, I enjoyed that night. One way to ease the pain, schala

EIGHT more days to go and it's Gerard's birthday! I'm already done with my gift for him, now, the only problem is how I'll send it to him. I love you so much.

By the way, the need to improve my drawing skills is necessary right now. And making portraits through color pencils is also one goal of mine, and I sortta suceeded... sortta, I only did half of it right. Bummer. But I'll do my best, as always.

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

- - -

3rd entry

Seriously, I don't know what I'm talking about right now.

On second thought, about the intern? I don't know, but i'm still interested, just as soon I finish my story and improve my art style...

Just polished my nails black... and I'm surprisingly happy about it... I don't know, for the first time ever, I was able to put dirt on my fingers, and soon, I'll be putting dirt all over me.

TATTOOS...

About my gift, I'm still making it look better.

By the way, just watched Sky High earlier, and K - zone isn't lying about their pictures. Warren Peace [[Steven Strait]] Is actually hot! I just knew I dig long - haired and bad ass guys!!! I worship your style...

And I'm still a Gerard fan...

I won't replace a turning to 30 guy for some... 21 year old vocalist... T_T... paper...

[[MEMOIRS]]

- Earlier, a new guy just came in, asking for our room for rent thingy, and well, of course he accepted it, and as I went out, to play with our pregnant cat, I saw him, and wow was he gay looking... Then he turned to look at me cause I look so stupid with the cat biting and scratching my arm slowly blessing me with rabis, and I thought his face looks familiar... Oh well...

Then, as soon as he left, my mom asked me if he's gay [[like what do I know?]] and I just said no, probably he's just one of those fresh type guys I usually dig. And I won't stop thinking about that face. I know he looks like someone from a band, then a minute there strucked me and yes, he looked like Ryan Ross, from Panic! at the Disco.

Nice...

First we had a Micheal Way

Now we have a Ryan Ross

What's next... Adam Lazzara?

Oh please Lord, bless me a Gerard look alike, and I swear I'll live my life to the fullest...!

Anyhow, I agree about

's theory of how people do their thing here in DA, actually, I've thought of it before she told it to me, while I was searching for some portraits, and that's just when I realized how lucky I am right now. I'll stop complaining to myself now.

And how wow, truly seducting pics from

, about that promise, I'll make an exception right now cause I sure like the way he does it.

And yeah, I'm stll inspired with

's works, but i'm not sure what to do with mine. schala

SIX more days to go, and I still haven't made up my mind about the gift... I'll domy best... [[AGAIN]]

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

- - -

4th entry

_{Yes it does. Seriously...

It's ONE more day till Gerard's birthday. Finally, I'm done with my gift for him. I'm currently sending it.

So yeah, I have less to say right now. But I am still bummed. But I'll be happy, for the sake of Gerard's near - being -30 experience. Yeah!

By the way, it's my little brother's birthday earlier. Turned out good, but he won't stop bragging. Schala!}_{[[MEMOIRS]]

- Okay, the day started out pretty well, despite of the flies bugging me in my sleep, that I wasn't able to sleep. And for once, WOW! at the Tinker Bell blanket my mom bought me the last last year. It gave me a few more minutes to rest.

After all these years, I've got the chance to swim on an inflatable pool. Too bad my cousin who looks like Douglas from Hoobastank vomited in it, so the fun's over that instant.

Then, I ate endlessly that time. And I feel the need of having a diet now.

And worked on my gift. I'm doing my best....

I feel so dumped right now...

Tomorrow, I will be spending the whole day in this camp thingy from the church. And there's a God forsaken swimming pool in it!!! OM*G!!! Then, my mom's forbidding me to bring my sketch pad but I'll bring it anyways...

I'm really starting to like MCR right now, thanks to Gerard...

And I can't believe this Val Kilmer dude looks like Steven!!! I'm so effed up...

And still, the most inspiring people I've ever seen in my whole effed life,}_,_{and uhh}_{[[in uhh rated - r art}_{]]

Schala..

Screw me now...}_{[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

MOOD: effed up...}

- - -

5th entry

It's Gerard's birthday today!!! [[in there place]]. I'm hyper now! Wee!

I just hope he receives the message in time. And damn, he's old, but not old enough to persuade me to give up on him!!!

Again, nothing much to say, and I am still bummed, even my mom is.

And I can't put my finger on it but I seem to really like Joem... our tenant... he's not good looking at all but there's something different about him. Schala!

[[MEMOIRS]]

- I didn't do much today... I just drew some stuff, although I'm having my down time right now, then slept... and can't take this site that Kleya showed me yesterday off my head... It's so EVIL....

By the way, my mom's telling me it's not advisable for me to have someone to be with who is good - looking as Gerard... her reason is that I might give myself in to him that easily...

Ookay... I still have my morals anyway... but I'll do my best... not too...

I dreamed of something very weird last night... I saw two deviants there, and I seem to liked one of them. So weird...

Again! Happy Birthday 30th Gerard!

YOUR EXISTENCE MATTERS A LOT

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

- - -

6th entry

_DONE?!?..._{To the point. To the point. To the point.}_{[[MEMOIRS]]

- I told you puberty sucks!!!

- - -

I'll stay out of love for awhile, I'm already happy doing so...

- - -

Happy marriage to Mikey! Aw, you're a man already..., doing it ahead of Gerard...

XD

- - -

I can't believe Aki's married and already has his very own new born... oh well. Congrats...

- - -

I'm finally drawing something again. But I'm sortta doing it slower now, but it looks better than my old works for sure.

After all, the scanner's pakd up right now...

- - -

My biggest thanks to those who greeted me yesterday! And the gifts were awesome! Thanks so much!

- - -

WAW!!!! Joem has a new hairstyle! Now he looks like an emo superman!

CUTE!!!

- - -

I feel like reviving my other account}_{for my digital art... I miss Photoshop so badly. And I'm surprisingly craving for anime and cartoon artworks now...

But I'm still thinking whether to revive it or just make a new one...

Oh well...

- - -

I wish it rains... to bring back memoirs...

- - -

My new waves/faves!!!

[[X]] Ladytron
[[X]] Taken By Cars}_{AWESOME!!!

- - -

I'm all out... that's it...}_{[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

MOOD: crappy...}
- - -

7th entry

_{I swear, I should end these emo titles... No wait... I can't

XP

Point. Point. Point.

[[MEMOIRS]]

- I love myself....

- - -

I'm glad I'm making improvements right now.

I'm in need of more reference pics.

- - -

Dreams are so mean sometimes...

- - -

William Beckett is so gay!

- - -

I just slept at 5 o'clock in the morning then woke up at 3.

REASON: Working on a story board which will cost me 3000 thou.

Amazing...

- - -

"R - Point" is a masterpiece!

- - -

I'm happy with my life now. "Contentment"! Finally!

- - -

I worship the following people right now...}_,_and

_{- - -

EDIT: Damn neopets for freezing my account. You sucked anyways...

Speaking of...}_[link]

_{- - -

Less to say. Less to say. Less to say.

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

MOOD: ookay...}

- - -

8th entryy

Wow... not so emo there. Ookay.

Go point. Go point. Go point.

I enjoy doing that.

[[MEMOIRS]]

- Life restarts...

- - -

Having a hard time finishing the Bert portrait I've been working on since yesterday. I've wasted enough paper and graphite doing it over and over again.. Screw that.

I finally got my new printouts, I mean FINALLY!

Curts to my dad.

- - -

Vampires are popping in my dreamworld unceasingly.

- - -

Middle fingerz the mouse... XD

- - -

I have so much to do this summer... like,

[[*]] Making portraits
[[*]] Learn how to play the bass guitar
[[*]] Learn how to play the piano
[[*]] Finish DOMINION [[until now...]]

- - -

The mouse is being stupid on me forever...

- - -

Kaiser Chiefs is so cool, and their drummer, Nicholas is so adorable.

I'm such a whore...

::: ADDITION :::

Paul from Snow Patrol [[bassist]] is love

Dobol whore action!!!

- - -

Just watched a bunch of horror movies and its bugging me until now.

- - -

Condolence to my hair...

- - -

::: INSPIRATIONS :::

[[TRADITIONAL ART]]

and

[[DIGITAL ART]]

and

Yeap...

- - -

Give me yoor answers...

::: WHAT SHUD I DO :::

[[?]] Make a new account for my digi art
[[?]] Just post my digi art in this account and be satisfied for once...

And please. convince me why.

- - -

I'm all out... Syatap me...

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

Waw... that's pointless...

MOOD: unexplainable

- - -

9th entry

Oh my. [[x 3]]

Do it.

[[MEMOiRS]]

- Life?

- - -

So much to draw, so little time.

- - -

I finally got the chance to draw my bisexual love just yesterday. But for now, it's in anime/chibi form. Screw that dobol time.

- - -

I finally got myself some sleep last night.

Curts to that thing I put to cover my eyes.

- - -

Middle fingerz neopets and these damn electric billz!!!!

- - -

Placebo is canon.

- - -

::: NEW FAVES :::

||||| European bands |||||

- - -

::: INSPIRATIONS :::

[[TRADITIONAL ART]]

and

[[DIGITAL ART]]

and

- - -

I'm all out...

And yeap, my neopets account really is frozen. FKGLSKSKDA

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

MOOD: bi lurve

- - -

10th entry

I pretty much enjoyed my "DAY" today.

OM*Gozch!!!

WT* happened?!?

Point. Point. Point.

[[MEMOIRS]]

- It started off good. schala...

- - -

Yeap. met up with

at Mcdonald's... raping Mcdo's statue... Wee

We brought him along while we were bombing Glorietta. GT*O ~

's idea

- - -

Bought myself the "The Rasmus" CD after raiding several music bars...

And Nicholas is so efin cute.

*drools on the CD cover* syet I don't have it...

WT*?!?

- - -

won't stop poking me... Omagad!!! she can poke?!?

- - -

's gonna sleep here.... Oh nuuuuu!!!

XD

- - -

Damien's totally the canon!!!

He's like Jesus to me...

has no comment...

- - -

Penguins are penetrating my journal!!!! Holy syet!!!

XD

- - -

Damien... Damien... I know you care...

You're just too quiet.

and bisexual... XD what the?

- - -

I feel like my account's being lifeless... [[duh]] I mean...

WAW!!! is that 0 messages I'm reading.

- - -

Damien deserves to be worshiped for his uniqueness, and err... bisexuality... ?

I'm so fond of your uniqueness!!! But hell, I'm not in love with you. oh wait, I am... XD

- - -

I pity King Kong...

- - -

That's all the crap that's left on my mind right now so expect more soon.

XD

SHOOT ME!!!

ish here! LOLZ!!!!

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

[link] < - - - *rapes some more*

MOOD: high with bi

- - -

11th entry

Expect good words from my fingers and thumbs.

Carry on...

[[MEMOIRS]]

- Some things went good, and

went home earlier. Aw.

- - -

My mom's in a good mood... Cute

- - -

Damien's the bomb!

You never cease to amaze me with your charms,... and gender.

I never thought it's possible!

- - -

I succeeded drawing portraits without references now! Booyah!

- - -

Damien...

- - -

Gonna watch Spiderman 3 tomorrow...

Gonna see Toby Mcguire again!!!

What the?!?

It's obvious I'm excited...

- - -

::: INSPIRATIONS :::

[[TRADITIONAL ART]]

and

[[DIGITAL ART]]

and

- - -

Less to say...

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

[link] < - - - *rapes some more*

Ahurhurhurhur...

XD

MOOD: God knows...

- - -

12th entry

_{Awesome day, except that I find it hard to burp right now.

Moving on...

[[MEMOIRS]]

- I was really tired but it's a prior for me to watch the "oh so" good movie.

And I did.

- - -

I was amazed on how they did that intro there, but the end wasn't as fascinating as I expected it to be.

Wannabe critic mode, but yes, I sure enjoyed watching the fighting scenes. and Toby's tiny lips. XP XP XP

::: BY THE WAY :::

- I thought Sandman's daughter was a guy so I was like, holy sit! that kid looks like Johnny! or Damien... XD

Ookay..

More about my encounter.

I was really glad to see Topher Grace in the movie. It brings back "That 70's Show" times.

And I'm glad I was able to hear Snow Patrol's contribution to the movie, and I can't help but sing along. La la la la la...

::: MORE MOVIES SEEN XD :::

The Chumscrubbers

- Ahurhurhur... Pretty weird. Justin Chatwin's canon.. Sorry Dame... But don't worry, you look somewhat similar to him. XD

See?

Your type captures my interest...

Dark Water

- Not as good as the original Japanese version, but oh well for them.

- - -

Justin's face is so interesting.

Probably my next target for my new works. Ahurhurhur...

- - -

::: NEW FAVES :::

[[*]] Snow Patrol

- - -

Blah blah blah... it's the yelling that bothers me now...

Oh well, normal and bad talking mode.

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

MOOD: Ahurhurhur}

- - -

13th entry

_{Indeed he is.

Just got my printouts well, supposedly yesterday but I woke up late so okay, early in the morning.

[[MEMOIRS]]

- My dream's half ass I think...

- - -

Justin's face is so pitiful... in a way.

But cute.

And amazing how he looks so similar to Dee!

I'm so proud to be so close to you now! XD

I'm not using you, don't worry.

- - -

I do feel neglected right now, [[not to you Dame]] but to some other people I know.

But, I'm surprise about this website that emailed me yesterday, asking me if I'm ever interested in joining to their site exclusive for people who can draw portraits and stuff, and of course, I did. And it's kick ass baby. It's still a small community so... yeah, cute.

- - -

Dee. You're, you're not hot, and you know it... I just think you are. XD

- - -

Having an obsess fan boy is an ass.

I mean it.

- - -

Um, yeah, expect my account to be dead for awhile.

And please, leave no comment on how dead it is, cause it'll rise back up anyways.

- - -

My mom made a promise I'll never forget.

But I'll have to wait...

- - -

Hmm... my posts are so pointless nobody's reading it. Amazing. Reason why I can't blame anyone. Damn.

*blames Dee*

ME: You D*ck!

He's gonna kill me once he's sees this.

But I'll eventually rape him first. XP

[[END OF MEMOIRS]]

See how my drug affects me sanity? [[if anyone does read it...]]

MOOD: obsess with my only one XD}

- - -

14th entry [[last!!! finally!]]

I swear I am.

[[MEMS]]

- I'm starting to collect my artworks one by one and I'm glad I'm already working on it.

As for the promise my mom made, it'll soon be fulfilled, as soon as she pays for my brothers' tuition fees.

- - -

I'm getting my dosage of NO - ATTENTION here, so thanks alot.

- - -

It's official I'm anemic, of course, no one cares, XD oh well.

- - -

It's not yet a DeexPao relationship but almost there, I think. Aw for us.

- - -

that's it and yeah my account's dead, for now.

[[MEMS]]

MOOD: OP

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